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Tuesday, May 25th, 2004

Subject:Not going to be getting much overtime round here
Time:1:31 am.
Mood: touched.
This company recently found a potential risk of salmonella contamination to their almonds, and recalled the product. Despite none of the cases being definitely linked to these almonds, the american population are panicking.

I wouldn't have thought it possible this many people ate raw almonds, but apparently the helpline center that's been set up has been taking several thousand calls a day. If they get this upset over marginal death-by-nuts scenarios, I can't wait to see the reaction to something truly terrifying...

And the best part? I didn't have to do a thing. These people are working themselves into apoplectic seizures without me having to lift a finger. I'm going to like this world.
4 criminals terrified | Gaze into the face of fear

Monday, May 24th, 2004

Subject:Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Time:6:58 am.
Mood: optimistic.
The pecking order amongst our little clique hasn't changed much. Barely twenty four hours of being corporeal again, hardly enough time for the blood to cool down, and already he's hissing orders. "Ssssort me a body out, Fear". I know, I know. It's not hard for me to find a corpse, they seem to simply fall at my feet most days, but you've no idea how picky he is. "Grab what you can, Fear, it'll do!". Sure. Till he complains it's a little tight in the shoulders, or makes his bum look big. Still, I'll see what I can do.

A bigger problem is finding a supply of dead fluids in this century. Without sufficient quantities of this, all his new body body is going to do is sit and decompose quietly. Embalming fluid is easy to come by, but there are other dark ingredients I must acquire, foul and evil substances to give the corpse dark energies and unholy power. A little research has proved fruitful, though, and I believe I have found a suitable substitute.

Starbucks, here I come.
2 criminals terrified | Gaze into the face of fear

Sunday, May 23rd, 2004

Subject:It does you good to stretch your legs once in a while...
Time:8:07 am.
Mood: optimistic.
And trust me, when you've spend over a decade trapped in your noncorporeal form, in a plasteen bowl not much bigger than a jam jar, it feels... exquisite. Not to mention the feeling of actually having legs again.

Escaping was surprisingly easy. I'm surprised it hadn't occured to me before. I simply frightened the container to death. I'm not saying it was easy, instilling terror into inanimate objects is not the easiest thing, but hey, I am the best at what I do. The judges of this world were a little upset at this, but I soon convinced them of my need to be free. One of these lawbreakers in particular seemed very put out. I tell you, if looks could kill... Oh, wait.

To cut a long story short, a brief visit to Tech 21 and the nearest hardware store (They had a clearance sale on padlocks, much to my delight), and I was all set to once again dispense justice. Or so I thought.

I don't know what those bloody tech-judges have been doing to our dimensional hoppers, but the settings on the one I retrieved were totally screwed up. I intended to pop back briefly to Deadworld (I have an extensive wardrobe back there. I like to dress to kill), but instead it deposited me somewhere on Earth in the 21st century. Ah well. These things are sent to try us, just as we are sent to try you. Besides, this time and place seems to be ripe with fear. They even have a scale to measure the amount of national terror. Such innovation...

To my even greater surprise, my colleague judgedeath is here also, and has already been in touch. Says he has a scheme to 'knock 'em dead'. What's new, I couldn't help but think, but it'll be nice to have some company. And at least bloody Mortis isn't around, making sheeps-eyesockets at everyone.

On the whole, it's been a good day.
4 criminals terrified | Gaze into the face of fear

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